Although this is a "no brainer" I’m asking because I want to know how to respond properly to my ex boyfriend. We ended the relationship over a year ago but keep in touch by telephone. We live on different coasts so we don’t see each other. I’m going to be in his part of town soon. I’ve made hotel and car reservations and plan to hangout with some friends when I get to town. He is expecting me to come stay with him and to hang out with him. Here is my issue with all that. He has someone living with him and someone else wants to be there when I get there as well. He has a studio apartment and it would be four of us there, one is a minor. I feel at best this would be a disrespectful situation for me and the minor if the minor comes to be there. Secondly, I feel that my ex should have at least asked me specifically to stay with him instead of assuming I would be since we are no longer together. Yes, in the past I have stayed with him when we were together but now we have been doing our own thing and I don’t think it would be a good idea if I stayed with him since we aren’t in a relationship anymore. There was a lot of "DISRESPECT" on his part so I ended the relationship and he agreed. Now that I’ve moved on I see myself and him differently. I am commanding RESPECT from others and him. He informed the minor child I was coming to town and that the child couldn’t be there. I personally don’t want to stay there because of the plans I’ve already made so how do I diplomatically let him know I will not be staying with him as he told everyone? How do I get him to respect me? He is changing for the better but I think it’s because he doesn’t want to loose me as a friend and as a woman who really truly loves him unconditionally from the heart! A tough love situation. Thanks

TOUGH LOVE